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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Should I Not?

Since I been staying at home after my breakup, my family member are surprised that I always got home after work and know something was amiss and so they decided or planned it during dinner to have an interrogation with me ( Damm LOL)

Father : How was your job? Is it good?

Me : Yes, everything was fine. (Continue munching my food without looking at him)

Father : You sure? Hmm then why nowadays you never go out and meet your friend? Last time before you started working, you always go out and never come back home.

Me : Well, I want to focus on my job and earn money first ma (Have to lie about the breakup)

Mum : Goodla stay at home, no need waste money go out. Save money and give us

Sister : Haiya let him deal with his own life la, he go out also not doing anything bad

Mum : If he go out gaying around how? *Talk to me*, You don't go play backside a I tell you

Me : (I was like WTF in my heart already). I did not go play backside laaaaa. You want me play so much is it ?

Father : Goodla if never play, I thought you break up with the Mr XXX (my father really can read me bugger )

Me : Fuyoh, if I break up also, your should be happy right? I can find a girl lo now

Mum : Really? Ok ok let me set you up again *Smilling like kena lottery*

Me : The heck, stop doing that please. Besides I been going out with Joey already for few times. So don't disturb me

Mum : Joey? Good good, I know both of you are still lovingly like how you two used to be when kids.

Sis : That was when they are kids, now big already , don't disturb them

Me : Yala, I know what I am doing. Just don't talk about this thing next time during dinner

Father : * Gives me the suspicious look but continue eating*

Basically, my mum trying to set me up again and again and I am sure my dad knows that I broke up. He is my dad after all and he always guess me correctly. Feel torn between two sides now when mum so happily thinking something going to happen between Joey and me and more importantly I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea when I keep going out with her.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Up and Down

I have no idea whats going on with every couple out there as most of the people I knew were breaking up. First it was me, then my own close friend, then his friend, then my fellow blogger friends, my god what has happen? Anyway what is done is done and there is no point of looking back as it was the past and no matter how we tried to walk back, its impossible. So I moved forward like TULS(LOL) and I got back into this gay circle but I sensed that the gay guys who approached me were damn disgusting. They talked about sex, dick size (LMAO), and whatever god knows what kind of sex position and still dared to asked me out. I totally turned off when a guy come over and start talking about sex before even know you. The hell with how handsome or so called adonis you are as once you opened your mouth, I saw shits coming out (omg i so mean). After getting back into the reality of gay circle and singlehood, I tried to accept any guys just as friends (I am not as pro as TULS, lol) but the attitude really is sickening. It really make me wonder, is true love still exist for even gay guys? I know the answer but still what I saw so far really pushed back every positive thinking that I am trying to tell myself that happiness and love is still out there. How can I be still thinking there are good guys or sweet guy out there when all I meet are jerks ? (LoL) Anyway really got to keep up my positive thinking, if not I think I am gonna be lost forever LOL ~~

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

So Hard Yet

It's been a week since I am back to my single life and no words can describe my feelings right now. Upset and disappointment still all over me but yet I am glad that my workplace been keeping me busy to keep thinking of nonsense and whatever bullshit that my brain producing. I still keep your photo with me, unwilling to throw it away as it was the last thing I had about you even though all of my buddies call me to get rid of you. Still if I am not belong to you, no way for me to force through it doesn't it? So my single life been good as my friends been busy keeping me busy (LOL) as they worried I might drown into depression mode~~ ( I am not that crazy, my beloved friends) and be the another Joan of Arc statue. I am really fine and keeping going in my life as I believe no matter how hard now it be, the right one always there regardless straight or gay ( I am crapping already). So for now, just work work work and earn a lot of money money money ~~

P.S : Anyone want to go watch Immortals with me? Come come accompany me :D

Thursday, November 3, 2011

New Start

Ok, so first of all i am regret to say that everything is over and a new chapter of my life has begun. Well my relationship ended and lasted for a year plus, longer than I had anticipated but the outcome was much predicted. I won't put the blame on him as both of us had the responsibility of this outcome and of course, I am upset that this relationship had to come to an end. Many sweet and bitter experiences we had shared together yet we had no fate to be ever lasting. Maybe its my fault for being too happy go lucky and not to your liking or can't be who you ever wanted to be. I am sorry that I can't change myself just to please you as I am no longer myself if I ever do that. Maybe I wanted your attention too much that I annoyed you and you hated me for that. But whatever it is, I never stop loving you and be there for you every time you need me. Anyway all of this had over and you had your own new life, so am I. I really wish you all the best in your undertaking in everything, life, love and hopefully, someone better than me can please you in the way you wanted to. For myself, I think a halt had to come in my love life and rethink about soulmate and the perfect one. I been into few relationship but still all come to an end. So the best would be stop dating for now until the one comes by again LOL ~~

And about me, I just started my work at an engineering company working as an engineer which I hated so much~~ I do not had much chances yet in the Science and Biotechnology sector, so got to wait for a little longer until the best opportunity come. Who have any job can intro to me :P? So right now I will just focus on my work, earn money and if love ever cross by, maybe I will reconsider to reopen back my door if he is the one~~ So that all from me for now, as I am still mentally tired in everything I do now.