Monday, December 12, 2011

Opinions Please

Ok, this is the first time ever I think I going to request some love advice. Even though I had been into few relationships, but that doesn't make me professional or love god advisor and instead, I think I need more guidance. Being in a relationship is totally challenging for me in the way that how each of us handle the pressure and acknowledgement of family about your bf if you are open, how both of you communicate among each other to get know better, how you try to understand him if he is hurt, sad, emotional, or whatever more thingy emitted from him, how you want to make him understand that he is the only one special in your heart and many more (lazy want to list out all). I know being in a relationship is never an easy task and that is why, I always take it serious when it comes to love. But how do we know that our partner feels and think the same way? In my opinion, no matter how god damn freaking super duper close a couple are, we will never know each another mind and thinking. You can't tell for sure or understand how he really feels isn't it? We are not god, we can't hear how you feel, how you think, how you see us even though you magically said ' I LOVE YOU' or ' I AM FINE'. Understanding your partner would be the hardest part as most of the gay guys out there surely experienced bad times and even getting hurt over and over again. So how do you try to understand your partner and make sure that he understand you as well? By time? How long would that be? If time is not on your side then what are the other options? How do I tell when you are telling the truth or saying out how you feel? And after understanding, how well do you maintain your side with him? Who are we to say that he will do the same with us? We can't hear or know what he is thinking. Maybe he wanted a way out but feel that we still have a value of a replacement bf or even worse. And then in the end, everyone will be in pain physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or anything else. I know out there, everyone surely had a word to say about this and how to handle this matter in a good manner as a win win situation. I would really love to hear any opinions that can help me in the future and of course other readers as well. God bless us.


  1. I actually posted quite a lot about relationship and how a couple understand each other. They key element is open frankness and communication. In another word... TALK.

    If there is any phrase or action from him that makes you feel uncomfortable or upset you inside, let him know and likewise, encourage him to do the same because every individual reacts differently to the same sentence.

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  3. Calvin, thanks for the advice and i do remember reading that from your post. But what if they do not want to listen or tend to let it in and out? Or let say he tried to change but still doing the mistake without realizing it?

  4. It takes time for anyone to change. We can't expect a person to change overnight, right? If he changed all of a sudden, that would be too fake or he's just acting to make you happy.

    It's very important for both of you to listen to each other in order to know what the other person is feeling or thinking.

    If that guy respect you, he will be willing to sit down, talk and listen to you and discuss together what is best for both of you. It's not easy for two different individuals to be together because everyone thinks differently, we're from different background, raised differently, with different family values, religion, opinion, etc.

    Try to make him see that it's a good to talk and discuss nicely to each other and do let him know you will be there by his side to help him make the changes. Let him he's not alone in this. Relationship involves two people.

  5. understood understood, will try my best then. Thanks Calvin ~

  6. You're welcome. If you want to ask anything, feel free to email me.